AND DREAMS, DREAMS ARE
AND DREAMS, DREAMS ARE
Last months in Knysna, some realyties came in a shape of feelings, they knocked strongly on my days, making my dayly rutine become a big fight inside me, fight against sadness, against lonyless and all of those things that sometimes put us on the reality to accept how vunerable we can be, vulnerable like this piece of paper that tries to resist the natural force of the wind.
In all of those months here i,ve realised that sometimes i am really living, but sometimes is like my life just goes away, living me with the sad company of the loneliness.
Ans among unforgetable moments that i will always keep deeply in my little heart, i try to find a god reason to justfy my presence here,
Among all those fights, i also had a lovelly peaceful time, when i was riding with Jess, trying to make her dream comming closer as closer as real, and at the same time shearing with her my best and worst moments.
By then her Dream was my Dream too, but time flyes and we didn,t have much time to train our bodyes for a long experience like this, but we somehow always believed on it, this Dream, pulled me away of my real world, away from this nostalgia to yearn things that will never hapen, and at the same time this Dream put me close to this wonderful character named Jessica, and being the ones that for a wile is been my best company on my best and worst moments.
But the best was still waiting to come.
My sadness and anxiety, became part of all of my dayly hours, part of all my thoughts, i was feeling like the ones who have lost the last train of love !!
Yes this is my reality, you like or not!, but Gambada even if it looks like doesn,t go anywhere, is not true, lots of miles sheared with another borrowed bicycle riding among lovelly landscapes, making sure that my legs will stay strong enaughf to bring Jess to that finish line, on the other side of it, one dream!!
And dreams, dreams are.
So, the race day finally arrived, and unfortunatelly arrived with the worst conditions for us, well actually for me, i had been with fever the days before, i felt very weack, the cold, rain, sadness anxiety and all this ugly stuff, didn,t helped me to find a lovelly music in my soul, that ones that it makes us dancing of hapiness.
Hugging Jess, i said no matter how i,ll feel tomorrow well make it, i promise you! her look was quiet lost, and this night we couldnt sleep at all, we chatted, we laughed, and she wispered me that she was quiet sacared, it felt like some devil was waiting for us, but we just keept enjoying, talking shearing good and bad things, laughing abaut silly ideas, till we realised that it was time to go, not long later we found ourselves on the starting line among hundreds of enthusiastics riders waiting for their adventure, among them twoo little characters for one Dream, and in betwen the longest race in the world in one single stage, we where there for a Dream, for Jess just to finish, for me bring this angel till the finish line.
And like this among fears, melancholy and doubts our tyres caressed slowlly wonderful traks among stoning landscapes, but a very strog headwind came to visit us, he stayed with for more than 150km, to made us more and more vulnerable, but sudentlly i felt strong, and i sais to her, I am sure that well make it, anything cant really stop a Dream isn,t it?, and like this shearing pain, laugh and emotions Jess beacome my little angel.
I have sheared wonderful time with her, many hours on the saddle, rock climbing or trying to surprise her with my funny disaster paddling skills, she loves seeing me in trouble!, but also among those hours we sheared the reality around us, the poverty, wars, people in need. she,s always ready to listen, to learn something new, she,s always ready to give me a little smile when ever i need.
Back to the race, a pretty full moon with a partial eclipse included rescued us in our dificult moments, the noise of our tyres, or sometimes the deep breath of our bodyes seamed to noisy to be real, but the peace of one look, or one smile, made this Dream having wings.
I really could talk lots abaut those moments, forgetting abaut my sadness, forgeting actually the reality, but i didn,t and i remember sheraing with her, when we talked abaut the horror of millions of genitaly mutilated womens in Afrika,or living with the 50% chance being enslaved or death, one in three odds of being tortured or bounded, a 12% chance of being sexually assaoulted a number of times per year, or how the society try to keep us far from the unfair reality, NO, we didn,t forget abaut it, but for us our moment was a Dream, and for me this chronicle is Jess, Dream
So after more than 17 hours on the saddle and a very funny fall that made us seeing the finish line, we stayed there laying on the grown cracking of laugh, some seconds later, we crossed one imaginary line, and this ones was one of those moments when me i dont have words to express the feelings to describe it, a salty wet hug was our emotional moment, and one question,
Does a Dream can fit in one hug? i can promise you that yes it does..
My words only were, I am really proud of you Jess, she had her usual lost look, she made me very happy.
that night, i,ve realised again of the importance of the people that we love, she obtain in silence how to put me close to her world, she sheared a Dream with me, she,s young, she,s got lots of potential, and she already has a fan that loves her, that,s me, no matter if sometimes she gaved me hard time.
When we arrived at the guest house, i,ve realised abaut the influence that Jess had and have in my life, and for all of that she deserves all my respect,all my love, company, anything that shell need or i can do for her.
This is how i felt among one hug!
This night we laughed again, we dreamed again, and at the same time we suffered the reality around us, but for now all of this i,ll remind in our hearts forever, no words to explain it..
AND DREAMS, DREAMS ARE, Dear said, the coward.
The Dream is already gone, but your smile still shiny, i really dont remember if i talled you Jess?, but if i didn,t thanks a lot to alowed to share it with you.., I,ve closed the door behind you and the lonyless came to visit me.
HEALTH AND GOOD JOURNEY, NANDO.
HOW RARE AND WONDERFUL IS THAT FLASH OF A MOMENT, WHERE WE REALISE WE HAVE DISCOVERED A FRIEND.