Hi everybody, first of all sorry for being disconnected so long, I have been enjoying of a wonderful visit, I will tell you more about, but this is not the right moment.
On my way I really have time to appreciate, to feel, and also to learn, in this same time I have so much time to value the world, my own world, the ones that in the end I share with all those that
I love, obviously I do it adjusting it of my necessities trying to not interfere or hurt anybody, in a mean time I do really learn, I learn about myself, about the others, I keep discovering so many wonders, often in a landscape shape but many of them come from my inside.
But also I do have time for frustrations, those times where you feel betrayed, confused; happy…lately I am learning a lot about me, but also about the others, and unfortunately I see so many doors closing ahead me, I also take difficult decisions of closing other doors in my life now.
I leave behind this shiny white of the immense dessert, from far and with that feeling of anxiety I can see a draw of a lonely tree like a long skeleton (I can see myself like it), how difficult it´s keep thinking without remedy, inventing new dreams in those sorrow times.
Near of this big blue that is the Caribbean Sea, my dreams and illusions drown when I do realize how difficult they are, it´s like everything runs away from me and only have left a waiting time full of solitude.
I only can say goodbye to those moments with courtesies, accepting this lesson, and if I can keep believing on those moments that make our lives and knowing how to welcome them when they arrive.
It´s true that right now I am so sad, but also happy difficult to get it, this is the paradox of us the human being I guess? Although I will reborn off course! This is my strength, this is my illusion now.
I will look for this essential of life that´s always looking ahead; I will never look back with anger, I won’t either look ahead with fear, because I can still walk. I have been lost on bad written words, I’ve been lost in a world without looks, a world in the distance, but, ¿why suffer for those things that will never happen?, in the end of the day the success never last forever, and also any failure it´s the end.
So, I guess it´s very important having the strength of keep going and going, especially after having seen what I have seen and I see every single day, I will cry, I will dance, I will smile, I will living again intensely before that the piece of my life finish without applauses, I will never wait needlessly, I am pretty sure that what it should come it will.
Another lesson of how to learn how to make a mistake, to learn how to have the strength of living according our feelings in our own life, I will let the tears rolling down, but at the same time I will run away of any sorrow I will do it without complaining, I will pull out this heavy weight of having my arms crossed, this estrange feeling of not knowing if I am coming or going!
To many injustices, I don’t want to live in the hypocrisy of so many lies, it´s true that I am so tired right now but I won’t stop to look with faith those tracks that will bring me to those junctions with many other difficult lessons that will make learn again.
I will stay here for a while, I will visit those places that I think they deserve to be visited, I will pass by again those people that smile me just because I am how I am without asking me anything in exchange, I will jump into the Caribbean Sea letting its waves taking me where ever they like, I will stare the horizon with all my love, my passion I will till the breeze bring me back the wish of keep going.
Rain and humidity melt together here in Playa del Carmen, one of those another touristic trap, those places where it´s compulsory have fun, those places where the people do all those things that not are able to do in their normal life, without realizing this big lie that only ends when they go back home and show the videos or pictures to their friends, after this sad ritual real life fall down again and the routine of their lives doesn’t allow them to have the strength of closing doors and open new ones according their feelings.
In the University of the Streets there´s no need of books or the best teachers with tones of master degrees, there is only the need of opening our eyes and accepting that every day we can learn something that we may not like or hurt us, even though if this comes from those people that say that are our friends or love us.
I will stay here for a while, I will draw dreams on the clouds, I will accept, lies and trues, I will try to get away from the injustices, from the hypocrisy, and as always I will open wide the doors of my life to those that love me just because who I am.
I will refresh myself on those clear waters of those wonderful Mexican cenotes; I will let the heat and the humidity open my entire skin pore cleaning like this all the impurities that sometimes make us feeling so humiliated, sad, abandoned.
I will let the wind blow new challenges, new passions, new pain and as always I will keep fighting till the satiety for everything that I like, you like it or not…
This is how my life is; I am committed to give, to help to help always taking the risks that this means, I will do it without thinking only in me, but also believing that every time that I do a new mistake I will also have the chance to learn or ask for excuses.
I am writing those bad written words from the deepest place in my heart, I’ll do it looking the waves play, I can feel it freedom, and also feel the yearn of those in need, I am so proud of being part of those that have the chance to be with them, and also I feel so sad at the same time, for not being able to understand some times, and losing everything without knowing WHY?
I will open wide all the windows to allow the fresh air coming through, and like this I will be waiting. If anybody one day asks for me, tell them that I always will be here…
HEALTH AND GOOD JOURNEY, NANDO.
THE ONES THAT LEAVES IT DOES BECOUSE IT WANT TO, THE ONES WHO STAY IT DOES BECAUSE HE LOVES.