This singing expression that we constantly hear in Central America, this lovely expression that means slowly slowly.
In this my simple passing by, that this time it will be a bit faster because I should get to Panamá by the end of the month, I should because there I’ll arrive a parcel wrapped in smiling paper, one visit that doesn´t need words to tell, but just in case of it I will say that makes me very happy.
I know that I will not see many of those things that we never miss when the time doesn´t run against us, when the time it´s something else than a date or hour, but even though, I saw and I’ll see enough to understand this huge empty where we can fit all the pain and sorrow.
After all this time in Mexico, I had the feeling that we get used to the countries and we ending forgetting this lovely sensation of seeing new things, places…
But, once I have entered into Guatemala I had a very important mental fight, this is a very poor and rich country at the same time, one of those things very difficult to understand and much more to explain. And I also had a physical fight, those countries are hilly, some of them a lot, and even though this give you the chance of enjoying a variety of landscapes, also helps you to remember that what I am riding with, isn´t a loaded donkey, it´s just a simple bicycle.
Halima´s my faithful wife, this silent spectator that leaves prints allowing the the water and the wind erasing them, but for me isn´t like this, my simple passing by isn´t just between the solitude and myself, not at all! I have so many things to say, to write but I will never find the way to express my feelings toward those people that talk to me, that help me, that loves me, just for that simple passing through.
We are those estrange characters that we find our journey very far from the daily routine, we do, but at the same time we have to battle against the pain of the goodbyes, here, there, doesn’t matter Central America isn´t different, past sad wars, pain, poverty, fake NGO, but still lots of love left…
It´s always me the ones who leaves, the bad ones in this last minute that feels so eternal, among this silence that shout so many things at the same time, the same minute that the day before you had those lovely expressions in your face and today we can´t even draw one in our faces, this space of time that crosses all your own world bringing you all you have lived, all you had feel, one minute in those landscapes of central America that travel straight into your heart.
Here it´s the same than everywhere, when you are waiting, nights could be as long as memories.
I do like those countries, landscapes etc etc , but today I am looking forward to Panamá, and like this I can get out of this cell where too often we get used to be close, I’ll open the doors of the freedom, as well wide open to allow the heartbeat, and sigh could fly, and I will let the wind froze up the tears that fall when it looks like that my life is empty every time that I am going, and my voice drowns into one DON’T GO.
But I am here, enjoying of this life that I think it´s just wonderful.
Many time I wanted to cry, and I did it would be wrong not to do it and drowning inside myself, it would be wrong to not accept that nothing can save us from the death, so I will let the love and doing always what I feel save me from the life.
Soft wind from the mountains that you hug me while I pass, don´t stop me even though I am going fast and loosing those wonderful moments that I have so close, those silences able to tell the freshness and the smell of this last hug.
And this is like this like I am going and coming, is like this like am loosing or winning, so, I am asking myself, ¿if the history it´s that simple, why the hell we worry that much?
In all those years on the road, with all those landscapes, with all those people, I had the fear of losing, but because of you all I am alive, and I am not just passing through life, this adventure, those friends, another family, the price of sharing the misery of the others, all of this that makes any wonderful landscape just a passing by…
Halima´s brings me to all of this, all the important for me, to Guatemala with its color, flavors, and volcanoes… to El Salvador, with its life’s full of simplicity mixed with their little dramas. To Honduras, this country that doesn´t show all that has to offer, and Nicaragua indeed, Nicaragua, Nicaragüita like the song says “now that you are free I love you much more”, land of poets and iconic images of young people giving their life for a freedom dream.
Too much to digest before getting to Panamá, but I will, I will do it from here where I am writing like always those bad written words, I am doing it from Costa Rica, the country of the, bio, eco and organic this new fashion that sparks to many bad feelings to me, I’ll do it in this green and expensive paradise…
I´ll take with me all the flavors of your hugs, that big smile full of white teeth, even though one hurts you, I’ll take those countries with me, the same ones that we can´t find on the books, touristic guides, or history classes.
I´ll take your looks and smoothly I’ll sail among the waves of your voices.
DARE NOTHING IT´S FOREVER, GET OUT THERE LIFE STILL THERE…
HEALTH AND GOOD JOURNEY, NANDO.