MEMORIES AND GOODBYES
MEMORIES AND GOOD BYES.
Like every year on the same dates my cloudy days smell memories and goodbyes, many time are forever, but many I would like to believe that it may only be gathering with them again.
Mean while you´ll fly over other direction, you will dream in your worlds, and so many times I will dream too that I travel with all of you.
Today are days of memories and goodbyes, memories to all of you that abandoned your life without giving me any time to tell you how much I would love to talk with you, and I only have left your absence, even though your memories are tattooed in my heart.
Memories for you Valenti, my father, because always and with the years you knew how to make me understand that the sincerity it´s the shortest and the best way. Or you Youseff, that on my days in African lands you protect me as one more of your sons, and you did with all your love and respect. Or you Pepi, that so many times even without knowing you, you made me dance on my lonely moments. Or how I can forget you my dear Kenny, that so many times before you went with the death, you showed me how not to fear the solitude without you. Or you my missed Halima´s, that you made me laugh even at the same moment that you where living with the death, and you did it with the same love that you always gave me. And of course I remember you girls and boys that unfairly you are not here anymore, but while I was trying to help you, you made me so happy; your memories will never die on me.
Thanks to all of you to have passed through my life…
And today´s on those goodbyes’ moments, I fight against those days that pass to fast, fighting against those heartbreaking hours that only come when we need less, or those brilliant suns that on the sad memories we mask thinking I hope I could say this or that, I presume it´s too late now.
But today´s a new day, and even its provoque me pain, this ones will never remove all this happiness that I have share with you all, those minutes that were like long hours when you made me laugh, think or even cry in my solitude.
I´ll pass trough green hillside of mountains, lakes and maybe beautiful bleak uplands, I will share that smell of wet grass and also the air in the altitude, I also will share the cold water of the rivers that with the years draw its veins on the earth, all, I will share all with you.
There are inevitable times; times of useless hugs that will never catch the sun while it hides between the dark clouds.
I wish you will forgive me if I can´t look at your eyes when I am leaving, what can I do? Let go your hands while I am riding through new ways, I will not hide the tears even though I know that this will be my decision.
What a strange sensation when everything it´s in silence, even when the words run away of the sorrow, how it can be that this immense blue sky can also hide those wonderful colored histories lived with you all?
I will take new directions, I will with a broken compass, because like this I will let me go with the reason of what I do really feel, I will face up again the truth, and I will let this new lesson that I have learned with you be my strength.
I won´t say goodbye to you, I won´t even if it´s forever, although I know that this pain I will bring me back this sad sensation very well-known for me, but, I know that very soon in my solitude, I will listen again your voices, those squalid songs that will make me happy to know that you are around, mean while I will keep finding my own destiny.
When I am reread these bad written words, but spit from the bottom of my heart, I would love to be strong enough to express all my feelings, but to be honest I can only ask you to forgive me if I can´t be all the stars that illuminate your ways.
When you awake look at the high mountains, breathe the light of the mornings, and you, that you still have so much life, never doubt in look at yourselves on your own mirrors, stop to believe in luck, because so many times this it´s the pretext of those that only want to live on the failure.
Thanks again to have showed me what you all did, because without trembling I will keep hugging your absences in life or in death, but somehow in all I will have this goodbye drawled in one beautiful and huge smile.
I will keep taking those lonely ways of solitude and freedom, two words that always go together with the traveler.
Thanks to make me feel how I do feel, although now I feel so empty, and I feel that I am swimming against the current, but I will let me go, because I am sure that only like this I will have the strength to go.
All of you know that I don’t need to say any name, because all you know me and you also know to who I am talking about, but I would like to ask you something, I would like to remind to my other “mum” the wonderful Patricia´s, this. You´ll never give up, because only the cowards die many times before dying for good, dare to fly it´s only a wonderful dream.
Between memories and goodbyes, I will leave trough the same door that I came in; please don’t forget your marvelous smiles…
TELL TO THE KIDS THE TRUTH. (Bob Marley)
HEALTH AND GOOD JOURNEY, NANDO.