MUD, PAIN & HAPINNESS (part 2 )

In my perfect world It would be… Nando please you already know that this world isn´t possible.

I am starting again.

I will forget the mud, I will forget the pain as well even though if my health doesn’t like it. Like I have told you Cajamarca´s giving me lots of things to write, the thing it´s that I am not sure if I am going to be able to spit it in a way that I feel, but, who cares? I am sure that I will do from the heart and you all will understand.

I´ve arrived to Cajamarca´s city with the firm idea of helping, I have arrived to this city lash of conflicts and demonstrations that unfortunately to often go from the lead to the skulls, but let me also forget about this, and talk to you about other things.

Helping? What a battle in a world that supposedly should live free of fear, selfishness and injustices but…

VIVIR LIBRE DE MIEDO / LIVE FREE OF FEAR

I have started this battle as usual, trying to find those places that I think they may need help, and of course I found it, unfortunately those places are all over, but I also found others named official orphanages that are used to sell and give the kid to prostitution,oh well I better don´t say anything, let me escape from all of that.

Finally I have found those places that deserve all my time and energy, the next step it´s the most difficult to find, obtain all they need, but luckily the UPAGU,and UPN universities, and Nuevos Mundos college opened their doors to me, there I had the chance to give five talks to the students and get food.

But also I went to a posh college named Dave College that treat me very very bad, I’d love to close the eyes, to break up everything and start again, but no, because I am sure that allow all those injustices no matter which ones , it´s open the way to all of those that follow them, I will get away from bad thoughts, from anger, from abuse, lies, arrogance … I will leave very far of all of this because I am feeling so weak to harm much more my heart, I will forget all those bad people that so many times there only are pieces of meat with legs, I am not like this, but after saying this I really feel much better.

ESTOY MAS TRANQUILO / I FEEL MUCH BETTER

Night arrives and wind talks, meanwhile I will share my time in silence with those needed kids, yes, it´s true, they only are kids but they know how to cultivate dreams, they do till the point of taking over of themselves.

Let me remember you on my thoughts, I will among happy and smiling figures that will get lost in my memories.

Let me live the truth inside us, inside of our difficult wishes.

Let me live free, the same freedom that it´s useful for something I would love it would be for having the right of saying all those things that so many people doesn´t want to hear.

Oh well, my dears human relations are like soap bubbles “ to fragile”

Mud, pain and happiness, Virgin de la Natividad refectory,Incawasi project, said like this are just two names, it´s true, but also are two little worlds that shelter more than 130 kids in need, they live in a extreme poverty and they need from us.

There´s where I have arrived with hundreds of hundreds of food, they also have the right to have a little chance to live, and I have to thank to Ramon and Fanny to allow me to be there and help.

When you get into those places, there´s is always a estrange moment, it looks like that everything it´s empty, there are no noise, and sudantently I realize how limited human we are, we are so afraid of not understanding. The shadows of the doubts rise over me, it´s like looking up and seeing  the difficult road how wind up there, while my lungs doesn´t want to pump, it´s like a poem in silence, today, again night caught me without smiles, wind caresses me softly but at the same time disappears insensible of my wishes, although I have to thanks to the life to dress up with this lovely blue, and allowing me to put something on those empty hands of those kids in need, maybe, why not! A bit of hope.

Coming down from this pretty cloud I’ve heard the roosters sing with their golden hats, meanwhile wind keeps flapping the lovely colorful skirts, songs and wishes fly among clouds full of red dust.

NUVES DE ROJO PLATEADO / PLATINUM RED CLOUDS

Cajamarca´s this pretty city, with its cobbled squares, dark balconies full of geraniums, and fresh house entrances…far the bells rings , something new has born on me, more than 130 kids made me see life with a kids eyes, I am pretty sure that when those eyes meet, a little love born, I am sure, because in the hands of kids nothing it´s fake, I think that when I am growing up I would like to be a “kid”.

Oh well Cajamarca, so many things under your lovely roofs, and only 92 grams of gold of every ton of stolen pretty land, so many kids with cutter smiles and full of questions in flames, all of them need blue answers, oh man, I would like to forget, but for this I have to remember, I remember this true African proverb “ we never forget the lesson learned in pain”.

And this is how I will appreciate what I have right now, because I know that isn´t the same losing a minute of happiness, than loosing everything in one minute, I will keep stilling the nostalgia with my old vagabond heart, I will keep trying to do something for those wonderful folks, the same ones that live in their world empty of hope even though they are able to accept this cruel reality as unique way .

I will love to shout, but remember that I am only a passenger in your dreams, please keep fighting, because if the justice really exists I am sure that one day it won’t be poverty anymore. Meanwhile I will travel toward the prints without ending, I will even my breath it´s tired and my obsession doesn’t listen the sanity.

CERCANO A LA REALIDAD / CLOSE TO REALITY

Your captivating eyes help me to find my mysterious destiny. today I had a dream that I don´t want to come back, you came to me and you had the patience of waiting for me that long an daring to offer me your gratitude, let me tell you Thank you very much, you have opened again all my skies.

Many thanks too, Ramon and the pretty Fanny to allow me to get into those estrange worlds, and even if all the doubts talk me about pain, how it would be possible to understand those looks that tells you “ don´t go”

Even if the doctors told me to not go, I will go towards those places full of lovely mountains, those places where the cold winters press the hearts of their peoples, I will keep walking towards the light, as the sun flower does towards the sun, and even if physically I don´t feel so good, the stream of my happiness brings crystal waters and many others things that I would love to know how to explain big thing with little words, but… you all know me, I am not very good on writing.

I have a dream, keep dreaming that maybe one day you little guys won’t need nobody anymore, I know, you may think I am crazy, but those days I think that being crazy it´s the closest of reality.

In my perfect world it would be… Sucks Nando, again?,ops…

Mud, pain and happiness, I am made of love land and I am sure that in the other side of my life n love land I will stay.

Many thanks to all those kids, you are the best reason of keep fighting, I am closing the eyes and I can see a lovely kite on the Cajamarca´s sky.

If you want to know who I am, ask to the wind…

FRAGIL / FRAGILE

It´s a privilege to have lived a difficult life. M GANDHI

HEALTH AND GOOD JOURNEY, NANDO.